Never Underestimate the Scouts
by Dude13
Summary: Beware, for they're incredibly more determined than might one expect...or at least when it comes to the ordeal of fundraising. Oneshot.


**Author's Warning**: Like everything else, this takes place in my series, set up by the events in my first story "More Than My Friend" where the big event is that Frankie adopts Mac. If you haven't read that story yet, I strongly suggest you do so now, or else you might get terribly confused.

* * *

"Everybody's doing a brand-new dance now…c'mon baby, do the locomotion…" Frances "Frankie Foster crooned along softly along with her MP3 player as she swept the foyer floor. Although she was known around the house for preferring punk rock over most music genres, she personally saw no problem with having a little bit of variety in her musical tastes. Or at least when no one was watching her, such as now as she continued to sing contently to herself and sway to the motown beat. "…I know you'll learn to like it if you give it a chance now…c'mon baby, do the lo-"

_Ding Dong_! _Ding Dong_!

As soon as the chime of the doorbell interrupted her solo performance, the started redhead jumped a little in surprise before clumsily tearing off her headphones.

"Uh, just a second!" she murmured, pausing to hastily shove everything away into her sweater pocket before rushing to the door, throwing it open and inquiring softly as she poked her head outside, "Hello?"

The instant she noticed the trio of jet-black pigtails swaying about just below her neck, Frankie immediately broke out smiling and greeted the familiar face."Oh hey, Goo! How are you? It's been a few days, how've you been do-"

The caretaker abruptly stopped dead in mid-word as soon as she realized that right then and there she had done the absolute impossible; she had actually managed to get in several sentences without being interrupted even once by a bombardment of chatter. As incredibly difficult as it was for the young woman to comprehend, her senses did not lie. Her ears had yet to be assaulted with Goo's shrill jabbering, and even odder, the child didn't appear to be in any mood for even so much as some small talk. After some quick observation, Frankie detected no sign of a toothy grin adorning the child's face, nor even so much as a ounce of bouncing, as the hyperactive little one was apt to do when standing any longer in one spot for more than an instant.

Instead, Goo remained oddly somber, and unsettlingly subdued as she just stood there in the doorway, wearing a brown vest tossed over her favorite rainbow-colored T-shirt, a blue neckerchief draped about her neck, and a heartbreaking frown stamped on her expression. Even her pigtails seemed to droop a bit as the undeniably upset little girl finally murmured without even glancing up, "H-hi, Frankie…"

Without a single word more, Goo plodded into the foyer in a beeline for the stairs. However, she barely took three steps before Frankie stepped right into her path, forcing the child to come to a halt.

"Okay," the redhead demanded with a sigh. "_What's_ wrong?"

As Frankie folded her arms and tried to look at the little on directly into her eyes, Goo immediately averted her gaze and blatantly lied, "Nothin'…nothin's wrong, I just-"

"Don't fib, Goo." Frankie reprimanded sternly as she wagged a finger. "_Something's_ upsetting you, and you're not going anywhere until-"

"I told you, it's nothing!" Goo snapped, surprising the young woman a bit with the bitterness in her tone. "I just…I-I…I just don't feel like talking, 'cuz…'cuz…because…"

Before she could cook up an excuse, she was taken completely off guard when her redheaded interrogator suddenly inquired, "C'mon, what does the law say?"

"…Huh?" the confused child grunted as Frankie knelt down and pointed to the child's scout uniform.

"You know what I mean." The young woman replied. "_I_ was in the scouts too when I was your age. Now, what does the the scout law say? Hmm? C'mon, you _know_ this."

Once Goo realized she had no choice in the matter, the child tucked her hands behind her back and started to scuff the floor with one of her boots as she reluctantly recited by heart, "I will do my best...to be honest and fair...friendly and helpful...considerate and caring-"

"There we go, right there" Frankie interrupted with a nod. "Smack in the beginning; _honest_. Now, either you do as you're supposed to and you start telling me the truth, or-"

"It's those stupid, no good, rotten, stinky, awful, nasty, miserable, dumb ol' cookies!" Goo finally blurted out as she exasperatedly threw her arms up in the air. Before the caretaker could emit so much as a peep in response, the child nabbed her firmly by the wrist and dragged her back towards the front door.

"It's not fair! It's not fair at all! It's just not fair, and don't try telling me this is fair, 'cuz it's totally not Nuh-uh!" the child began to jabber furiously as she pulled Frankie along. "I only had the flu for three days! Three days! Not a week, not a month, not a year, not fifty years, just _three_ days! But it was right after the troop kicked off its annual fundraiser, see, and even though I only had a fever for a few days, as soon as I started selling, it's like everyone I go to tells me that they've already bought a couple boxes from someone _else_ in the troop! At first, I thought it was only a coincidence, but it's not! It's not, it's like everyone in town has already been hit up, and I keep going from door to door to door to door to door to door, only to have people be all like 'No, I already bought two boxes of thin mints,' or 'But I've already ordered a pack of peanut butter patties' and stuff…"

At this point, the child had yanked Frankie outside onto the porch, where the young woman immediately spotted a small red wagon on the front walk, filled to well over overflowing with brightly colored little boxes stacked two feet high.

"….and I've been going around and around and around to neighborhood after neighborhood down street after street, to house after house after house after house!" Goo continued to rant on unchecked. "I even started to carry all this with me so people won't have to wait for delivery, but it's no use, Frankie! It's just no use! I only got a _little_ bit of a late start, but now it doesn't even look like I'm gonna come even halfway to quota this year, and I…and I…I-I keep trying, b-but I…"

Frustrated to the point of utter devastation, the child appeared to be on the verge of tears. The instant the little one had started to sniffle, Frankie's maternal instinct kicked ih, and immediately she kneeled down to envelop the little girl in a hug with another sigh.

"Shhh….c'mon, it's okay…it's okay, don't cry…you're just having a little bit of a bad start-" she instinctively tried to reassure.

"I've been having a bad start all week!" Goo whimpered as she wiped at her watering eyes. "Honest, I've been like, _all_ over town, and it's like there's _no_ one left to sell to."

Frankie glanced back at the overflowing wagon and shook her head in disbelief. "Fund-raising definitely was _not_ this cut-throat when _I_ was in the scouts."

"Well, now it is!" the little girl whined. "There's so many girls in my troop, and…and now it's so competitive, 'cuz there's only so many places you can sell in town, and…and I'm trying, but I'm just not…just not getting a-anywhere with…"

Of course, by that point it was all-too-clear to Frankie that she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she didn't offer to assist the child; she knew very well if she tried to deny her compassionate nature, the guilt would gnaw at her for Lord only knew how long, especially since she could empathize with the child so. She too, after all, also knew the pain of trying to meet quota for the troop. After sighing softly, the young woman put on a weak smile and started to delicately Goo's eyes with her sweater sleeve.

"Okay, okay, c'mon, it's all right, you'll get through this." She reassured with a wan encouraging grin.

"But-" the little one started to protest.

"Look, how about this; I really don't have much to do until I need to get dinner started, so that leaves me with about two hours. How about I borrow Madame Foster's car, and I help you try and sell a couple boxes today. Hmm? How about that?"

At first, Goo just stared incredulously in profound amazement over the offer before breaking out into a wan grin. "You…y-you mean it?"

Frankie laughed and tousled the girl's hair. "Well...wow can I not? You remember how the rest of the Scout Law goes, 'and to be a sister…"

"…To every girl scout." Goo chimed in as her mood rapidly improved by the second.

"There we go. Now, just lemme grab the car keys, and we can start loading everything up into-"

"Wait…but where are we gonna go?" Goo asked. Quickly realizing that an upbeat attitude could really only take them so far, Frankie paused as her mind raced furiously. If Goo was telling her the unfortunate truth, then _who_ honestly was their left to try and sell a box of cookies to? What honestly did she have to possibly offer that could give the edge to a frustrated little girl who already seemed to have tried everything and more?

"...I think I know _just_ the place to start." She suddenly announced triumphantly as inspiration suddenly struck.

Goo however looked quite skeptical. "I dunno…the rest the troop's really cleaned up this town…how do you know this place is gonna work?"

The redhead chuckled as he devious grin went unnoticed by the little one. "Let's just say this is where _my_ experience starts to come in handy…"

* * *

_Ding Dong_! _Ding Dong_!

"All right! All right! The young man grumbled as he made his way to the front door of his small one-story ranch house. "Hold on a sec, just lemme-"

"Hi!" the toothy-grinned uniformed child on his doorstep greeted peppily the instant he opened the door. "My name is Goo, from local Girl Scout Troop 132! We're having our annual fundraiser, and I was wondering if you'd like to support us by maybe buying a box or two of…."

As she jabbered on with her sales pitch, the fellow merely brushed back his messy black hair, rolled his eyes and broke out into a nasty scowl before he snappily interrupted her. "Look kid, I-"

"Oh, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, please!" the little girl yelped in dismay as he started to shut the door. "Hold on, hold on, hold on! Don't you even want to see what we have, and then think it over? Hmmm? Just look!"

Once she wheeled a small red wagon into view, immediately she nearly dove into the heap of boxes as she strove to show off her expansive inventory as quickly as possible in a desperate attempt to hang onto her client's blatantly low interest. "See? See? We have Thin Mints, a classic favorite, Shortbreads, Samoas, oooh, and you like peanut butter? Peanut Butter Patties, _there's_ a good selection right there! A-and we have…"

As she went on, the young man groaned and looked like he was about to slam the door right in the pigtailed solicitor's face. However, finally though he looked up and spotted the lanky redhead not too far away, casually leaning against a black Pontiac Firebird as she quietly watched from a distance.

The second they made eye contact, the young woman immediately broke out smiling and waved a little, and while she appeared as harmless and as friendly as could be, instantly the young man began behaving as if he had just glimpsed straight into the fiery depths of hell. With a gasp of unbridled horror, his eyes nearly bulged clear out of his headl, and the color swiftly drained from his face to the point where he nearly became as pale as a corpse.

For the next few seconds, the man remained absolutely rigid with terror, and didn't even so much as blink as he stared directly into Frankie's piercing jade eyes. Meanwhile, Goo continued to sort through her inventory and prattled on, utterly ignorant that her potential customer was currently receiving the fright of his life."…A big seller this year are our lemon pastries…or do you think you'd prefer a-"

"Do…d-d-do…uh, e-excuse me…" the man stammered as he managed to lift a trembling arm and point. "Do y-you know that l-lady over there?"

"Huh?" Goo squeaked and cast a quick gaze back towards Frankie before breaking out into a grin. "Yeah, _course_ I do! That's Frankie, she's helping me out today, which is really super-nice of her because she's not in the scouts anymore or anything like that, because she's grown up and stuff, but things like that don't usually stop her, because she's so super-super nice. See, she's my best friend's big sister, or at least that's what she likes to call herself, even though she's Mac's legal guardian and all, but I guess it doesn't matter that much, because-"

The instant his worst fears were confirmed, the black-haired young man barely managed to suppress a high-pitched yelp of fright before he blurted out, "I-I'll take a box!"

Immediately Goo halted her rambling and broke out beaming from ear to ear in excitement as soon as she heard the magical words.

"You...you will?" she trilled hopefully. "Honest? You mean it?"

"Yes! Yes!" he sputtered as he clumsily began fumbling for his wallet. "Just gimme a…a…"

Much to his incomparable dismay, he saw that the smile had vanished from Frankie's expression. Stonefaced, the redhead shot a nasty glower, and quickly forced the young man to conclude that his offer had been far from what she wanted. With a hard swallow, he glanced back to Goo and babbled frantically, "Make that _three_ boxes! Yeah, three boxes! Three boxes of…"

At this point Frankie only began to shake her head firmly, making it quite clear that his newest bid was woefully insufficient, at best. With his heart pounding inside his chest like a giant kettledrum, he hastily sputtered, "Uh…b-but… but then again, you know what they say; the m-more the m-m-merrier! Six boxes, I'll take six boxes of-"

"Oooooh! Oooooh, you mean it?" Goo asked, still completely oblivious to what was truly happening.

"Yeah, that's right!" her client answered, nodding furiously. "I'll take….wait, no! No, no! _Ten_! I want ten boxes! Yeah, ten boxes of-"

As she did before with the last offer, Frankie promptly expressed her grave dissatisfaction with a shake of her head, sending him panicking as he struggled to appease her.

"Fifteen!" he yelled out, making sure the caretaker heard from where she stood. "I'll take fifteen! Fifteen boxes, it doesn't matter what kind! Fifteen boxes of…no, no, what was I thinking? W-why buy only fifteen when I can have...uh...twenty? Twenty's _plenty_, right?"

"Sure, I guess so." Goo answered, unaware that he wasn't talking to her. "Are you positive that's what you want-"

"No, no, of course not!" he cried as from afar, Frankie shook her head again. "Because…because I want _ten_ more! Yeah, thirty, I want thirty boxes of…forty? Is forty better? Then fifty! I want fifty boxes of…no, no, I want sixty! Sixty's more than enough, isn't it? No, right, why would I say that when I can have…h-have…"

Desperate to escape from this encounter with his life, the badly frightened young man unexpectedly dove for the wagon, and without further ado began scooping up and shoveling entire armloads of boxes and depositing them in a pile on his front step, scattering them everywhere.

"_Hey_!" Goo yelped as she leapt back a foot or two in her surprise. "What do you-"

"I want _all_ of them!" he cried hoarsely. "Every box you got! _That's _good, right? Right? That's enough, right?"

As Frankie wordlessly nodded with a triumphant smirk, finally satisfied with his reply, meanwhile Goo was overwhelmed with astonishment, unable to believe her incredible "good luck."

"…You want _all_ of them?" she repeated in a barely-audible whisper, wide-eyed with total disbelief.

"Yes! Yes! I…I, uh….I just love these things! If only you sold them more than once per year! Can't get enough of them! Nope! Not at all!" he babbled like a complete idiot. "Here, just wait a sec!"

Moving like the wind, he retreated back into his house, only to reappear moments later, brandishing a blank check that he forcibly shoved into Goo's hands.

"H-here, take it! Just fill in what I owe you okay?" he mumbled. Before the stupefied little girl could get in one word, he shoved the wagon handle into her palm, grabbed her by the shoulders, whirled her about and pushed her gently down the front walk.

"Thankyouverymuchcomebynextyearokaygoodbyenow!" he blurted out in one breath before hurrying away with a terrified whimper.

Obediently the utterly stupefied child did as directed, and without a word she just plodded back to Frankie, tugging along her little wagon as she gawked in absolute astonishment at the check in her hands.

"I take it that it went well?" Frankie said, trying to hide a victorious smirk as the little girl returned. Still in awe over what she thought was an overabundance of good fortune, Goo looked at her empty wagon, back at the check, to the caretaker, and then finally broke out into a gigantic beaming smile.

"Frankie…" she began breathlessly. "You'll….you'll never believe it, that guy there, he bought…he just kept on asking for more, and more, and…a-and then he…h-he said he wanted…a-and just s-started taking all the…a-and gave me…"

Between her stammered sentence fragments, the little one started to giggle weakly as she became nearly dizzy with joy. While Goo struggled to try and explain what she thought just happened, Frankie shook with mirth as she bent over to give the child a quick pat on the head.

"Guess he really, really, _really_ likes those cookies, huh?" she laughed, while the dazed little girl nodded quietly before hugging the redhead's waist.

"Th-thank you for…for-"

"Hey, I just drove you; you did all the work." Frankie giggled as she pat the little one on the head. "Now why don't you put your wagon back in the car, and I'll go thank the nice man, okay?"

"Y-yeah…'kay…" Goo murmured, still beaming like a fool in her elation. As the child went to work, Frankie tucked her hands into her sweater pockets and calmly strolled up the front walk, where a certain fellow was frantically scooping armfuls of boxes up off his front step and tossing them into the house. Wearing a massive smirk, the redhead amusedly watched the spectacle for a few seconds until the young man suddenly spotted her out of the corner of his eye.

With a yelp of surprise, he went almost petrified with terror, and for a few moments he could do little but gaze into her eyes before barely managing to croak weakly,"H-hi F-F-Frankie….l-long time n-no see, huh?"

Frankie just chuckled triumphantly as she replied, "_Now_ do we know why we give dates _only_ our phone numbers…and _don't_ refer to them as our 'property' later on?"

Quivering from head to toe like mad, he was simply too frightened out of his mind at this point to utter a single word in response, other than what sounded like a pitiful excuse for a hoarse whimper. As she could practically hear his heart racing in his chest, Frankie continued grinning jubilantly as she leaned over, forcing him to cringe as she whispered ever so sweetly to her ex, "And it's been a pleasure doing business with you too, Dylan…"

**The End **

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End file.
